Friday, March 1, 2013

If You're Forcing It, You're Doing It Wrong

I haven't shared a new post in a while.   If I told you the reason is because I've been way too busy and just haven't had the time, you would totally believe me.  Working full-time, two kids, coaching a drama team, try to keep my house "not embarrassing," traveling, writing a book, working out, yada yada yada.  Totally plausible.

You, my friends, are way too easy.

In the spirit of candor and intimacy I share that, in addition to all of those legitimate things, I am also on level 65 of Candy Crush Saga and have never missed an episode of Project Runway; even the "Teams" version which kinda sucks actually.

Rest assured, pretty much whenever someone says that they aren't doing something (like working out or following their dreams) because they "don't have the time," they are lying. 

In a day, we can do almost anything we want to prioritize doing.  There may be other things getting in the way.  But trust me honey, the clock is just a scapegoat.

Sometimes we will also blame being "tired" but I've learned that there is typically more to it that just the physical.   Mental and emotional fatigue are far more crippling. 

So what's really going on?

For me lately it's been work stress, indulgence of anxiety and perfectionitis, plus a lingering pity party about being parentless.

I'm having a hard time believing that my mother died a whole year ago and my dad will be gone three years next month.   My dad's birthday was February 17th and I've been both feeling and missing his spirit a lot lately.

I had intentions that weekend of writing a very nice post in his memory.  I was on vacation and had the time, but I just couldn't get out of my own way to do it.  So, I went to karaoke instead.  (That helped actually.)

The reality is that I have a choice to let renewed sadness paralyze me or not.  I could panic about my own mortality or use that to focus on both the legacy I want to leave behind and what I want this precious experience of life to be right now.

Yeah, sometimes you just have to kinda suck it up and get stuff done.  Not fun.
What works (and feels) way better for me is when I focus with passion and belief on what I really want my life to be like.   That visualization and feeling creates an energy that is way more powerful than any to do list; far more powerful than guilt or judgment. 

This is the energy that attracts exactly the right people into our lives at exactly the right time.   Like, when you're thinking about someone and they call you moments later.  Or, when you meet someone and instantly feel like you've known them forever. You think it's totally freaky but really, not so much. 

Dad used to say, "If you're forcing it, you're doing it wrong." 

He was usually talking about trying to unlock a door or put together a toy, but it's a bigger lesson. Somehow we are trained to think that the only way to get what we want is to suffer.   (My dad used to also say, "Suffering may or may not teach you anything, but at least it shows you what you're up against.")

My point is that there is a magical, wonderful feeling you get when someone, something, or some opportunity comes into your life and drives you closer to the exact life you most want to live.  

Be open, expect the best, and enjoy those magic connections.  Be inspired without question and follow those paths where they are meant to lead you.

Thank you to those who reminded me of that this week.   Namaste!

With love,

Photo credit:  Me; my back yard.
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Fun and Fearless said...

I really appreciate your post. I've also been "busy" (whatever that means ^_^ ) lately and I can't even blog. So when I saw your post in my reader I was. . . revived. Exactly what I need to get through the next weeks.

By the way, your Dad's very cool, Charlene.

Bruce Coltin said...

Yes, they ARE lying!

Charlene said...

Bruce! You're still alive! Thanks so much for stopping by and taking the time to comment.

Charlene said...

F&F - my dad was the coolest. Super smart with an incredible wit. I hope to be like him someday when I grow up! :-)

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