Empty Your Cup Before it Overfloweth

Pretty much everyone I talk to about life balance admits that they often feel overwhelmed.  Clearly there are moments when the glass isn't half full or half empty.  It's just plain full.   

A cup about to overflow.

Even the thought of not being to handle it all adds yet more pressure. Oh, the possibilities and consequences!  Judgment.  Extra mess to clean up. Suffocation. Failure. (Hello fellow overachievers!)  

Sometimes that super anxious feeling is a clue to us that we need to do less or ask for help.

When both of those options are truly off the table, our "relief" has to come from within. 

True life balance is internal.

Instead of waiting to see which next "drop" will unleash the flood, I personally find meditation to be the quickest way of mentally and emotionally emptying my cup a little bit.  

Here's an exercise I find especially helpful in those moments. Very simple. Even if you've never meditated before, this is a great one to try.   If you're already comfortable with meditation, you can take it to the next level by using different colors depending on what your focus or goal is at the time.

First, deep breathing. In past posts I've mentioned the square breathing technique.  (In for four; hold for four; out for four; hold for four.  Rinse.  Repeat.) 

You can do that or just take a few deep breaths. In through your nose; out through your mouth.  Doesn't need to be a huge ordeal, just close your eyes and breathe.   Slow, easy, deep breaths.

Now imagine that there is a little pilot light in the area of your heart. If you need a visualization to get started, picture a match or small candle being lit.

Next, picture the light gradually getting brighter and brighter... a yellow or white glow expanding bigger and bigger until it surrounds your whole body. Then, imagine the glow is radiating out into the room around you,  through to the sky and then shining out into the universe like a beacon of light.

As you do this, feel the feelings of harmony, gratitude and happiness. You can even think of a specific happy moment. Whatever helps you replace the usual chaos of life with peaceful, joyous, thankful feelings. Let the positive emotion wash over you.  Bask in it.   

Allow all the muscles of your face, neck and shoulders relax.  Let that goofy smile to take over.  Laugh even.  (Yes, you do look silly.  It's okay.  You're allowed.)

When I do this, I usually picture my kids. There is a special feeling of intense joy and peace I feel when I'm snuggling them close, kissing their hair and feeling so filled with love that nothing in the world could ever take it away.

If you're into affirmations (which I am), you can repeat something to yourself like, "I am radiating love and light; attracting health, happiness and prosperity into my life now."

So be it, so it is.

Seeing the World Through Half-Full Glasses

You've heard the theories about people who see the world as a glass which is either half full or half empty.

Personally, I really want to know what's IN the glass before committing to an answer. 

Okay, so I've actually been accused of being TOO positive, even sans Chardonnay.

Someone recently flamed me on Facebook saying something to the effect that I "constantly make it seem like the world poops cupcakes and rainbows."  

It wasn't meant as a compliment.  Clearly that came from a glass-half-empty kinda guy.

The thing is I try to be positive. (And not just to annoy the pooping rainbows guy. Okay, maybe just a wee bit.)

Sometimes it takes more effort than you would think. A lot more.

But ya know what? Life is about choices.

As most of you know, I lost my dad last year. There is nothing to explain that kind of sadness. People say it gets easier.  It doesn't.  Somehow life goes on, but the grief changes a person on a cellular level. Not a day goes by when I don't think about how the world isn't the same without him. And each time, it's like a brand new revelation.

Apparently his former medical suppliers, utilities companies, salespeople and the like are having trouble accepting his death as well. Since my address is his forwarding, I get all his mail. Every. Single. Flippin. Day.

At some point I realized I had three choices:

1. Cry every time the mail came.
2. Spend many hours and much effort in some futile effort to keep the mail from coming.
3. Change my perspective.

In the spirit of full disclosure I tried the first two options for several months before I thought of number three.

Like I said, sometimes this stuff takes work.

Finally I decided that every time I saw an envelope with my dad's name on it, I'd think of it as his way of saying, "Hey little kid. How ya doin'?"

To which I'd reply the same way my dad would, "I'm fantastic. Thanks for asking."

A sad reminder transformed into a gift through the power of perspective.

Each day presents multiple opportunities to choose our perspective. When we wake up; as we interact with our partners and children; in the car; at work; at the store. All day long.

Choices.

Try this little experiment for one full day:  Starting from the moment you wake up, be hyper-aware of each  thought which comes into your brain (or out of your mouth or on your Facebook status.) Find a way to transform any negative thoughts to be positive. Find the silver lining. Make the glass half full.

Fill the world with cupcakes and rainbows.

Carpe diem,