Happy Blogoversary: 10 Life Balance Commandments

Every journey begins with a first step.  Or a first blog post, as the case may be.

I remember when I first thought about the idea of blogging.  My sister and some of my friends were already "bloggers."  They were cool.  I was jealous.  For a long time, I was still just "thinking about it."  Waiting for the right time.  Or more time. Something.

Then click.  One letter typed on my little laptop. One word; one sentence; one post.  No time at all.

Now one year later, I am typing my 100th blog post. (A few have been taken out of the archives for professional reasons but trust me, I've written a hundred.)

Like so many other things in our lives, starting was the hardest part.  And yet, so easy.  One click. 

So for anyone lurking out there who has been thinking about blogging and wanting to do it I say, "Go for it!"  You know who you are.  Really, what are you waiting for?  We're not getting any younger here people. 

Also, to commemorate my blogoversary, I thought I'd reach back and summarize some key messages from my blogtabulous first year.   Charlton Heston style.  Minus the beard.  And ya know, the other thing.  (His staff.  Get your mind out of the gutter!)

Apologies in advance for the lack of consistency in the "thous" and "thys" and "shalts". I am only human. It's 5am. Humor me.

THE BALANCE BEAM'S

TEN COMMANDMENTS OF LIFE BALANCE

1. Thou shalt make myself a priority.   Life balance is about having the mental, emotional and physical strength to be able to do it all.  It's not about doing everything in just the right way.  It's about being strong enough to handle anything.  True life balance is internal.



2. Thou shalt step outside the comfort zone.   Growth almost always involves the unknown. Go for it.  Parents, we need to let our kids step outside their (and our) comfort zones too.  Not easy, I know.

3. Thou shalt put out what I would like to get back.  Energy attracts like energy.  If we want health, happiness and prosperity then these things must be reflected in our thoughts, words and actions.  If we obsess over "sick, sad and broke" we get more of that.  Along the same lines, remember the saying, "If you meet more than two jerks in one day, chances are pretty good you're one of them." 

4. Thou shalt laugh.  I hope this one is self-explanatory.  Laughter really is the best medicine.  

5.  Thou shalt meditate and pray.  Regardless of individual spiritual beliefs, we all need time to reflect and be at a purposeful place of peace and gratitude.    When people ask me the #1 thing which keeps me sane in the face of everything I must handle in a given day, this is it.   And no, "Meditation" is not a new varietal of wine.  (But if you know me well, I can see where you might wonder!)

6. Thou shalt not treat every situation as "life and death."  Some of us are facing very serious challenges, I know.  Yet most of the things we stress and obsess about are not a matter of life or death.  We give transient issues way more power than they deserve.  Being a sensitive person myself, "Is this life or death?" is a litmus question I ask myself early and often.

7. Thou shalt control only that over which I have control.  This one should be easy but  is just so damn hard for some reason.  Here's a quick tip:  If it's another person, place or thing - we don't have any real control.   I know, I know. As a recovering control freak myself, this was hard news to me too. 

8. Thou shalt find gain in change.  Since this was the post just before this one, you know what I mean.  (If not, I'm sure you can catch up pretty quicky!)

9. Thou shalt deal with the crap.  Commandments and crap don't usually go together but I've got to keep it real.  That's just how I roll.  We all have things we don't want to think about, do, face.  Debt, fat, drama, junk, projects etc...   Big freakin' turds.   I can tell you from experience that these things have a way of getting bigger and stinkier without attention.  Bite the bullet and face the big turds.  Oh, it will suck in the short-term but you know it will be a HUGE relief afterwards.

10. Thou shalt believe in myself.  Increased confidence brings increased capacity.  Personally, I spent 25 of my current 41 years of life truly believing that I just "wasn't good enough."   That I couldn't be my authentic self because nobody could possibly love that person.  That I was "weird."     Old paradigms take work to shift.   But the bottom line is that the love comes from the inside out, not the outside in.  I know it's corny but you must love and believe in yourself.  Let other people think what they want.   (Remember the whole "can't control people, places and things" bit?)

So now I know that I am weird.  But weird is the new beautiful.


PS:  The photo included in this post is one I took out my kitchen window a few weeks ago.  One of my faves!

Got Any Spare Change?

Before I delve into today's post, how about a little "play along at home" game?   Yay!  **Spirit Fingers**

Here we go...

Stand up.  Oh come on.  Don't be so lazy.  Stand up.

Now, go ahead and change three things about yourself. 

I don't mean "change" as in become a Republican, lose 10 lbs and promise to be on time from now on.  Just three changes which you can make in your appearance right at this moment.

I'll wait.  (Drumming fingers on keyboard.)  Done already?  No - seriously.  Go ahead.  Really.  I'll still be here.

Afterwards, you'll have to let me know what you changed in the Comments box.  For now, just make a mental note (or write it down if you have short-term memory problems like I do.)  

You can put your pants back on now.

Okay.

So... you may recall that my last hair appointment sent me into a bit of a tailspin.  It's been several weeks now and my coif has grown out a bit.  Whew! At least now I can experiment with various styles.  Still short, but more options.  This makes me happy.

I know it seems like a silly, superficial thing.  But I've had an epiphany.  It's not about the hair at all. 

It's about change. 

Now, one may assume that I was upset because of the sudden shift in hairstyle from human to Muppet or because I was forced outside my comfort zone or whatever.  Nope.  It was the opposite.  It was the fear that I would be unable to change or do lots of different things.  That I'd be stuck with this one little garden shear pixie style.  Every day.  4EVA. *ugh! shudder!*

This little awareness made me start thinking about how everyone has varying perceptions about change. 

There are usually two camps: 

        1. Those who desire change and/or find it pretty easy

        2. Those who prefer the status quo and find change difficult

Which camp do you fall into?

Think back to the "play at home game" you just did. 

Does your level of difficulty in this exercise correlate in anyway to how you accept change in real life?

How hard was it for you to even think of three things to change?

Usually when I do this activity in workshop groups, almost everyone changes themselves by removing items.  (Luckily I only request three changes; otherwise I'd have some naked attendees!)  

Some people also change things without actually giving anything up.  For example, they will move a bracelet from one wrist to the other.

In both cases, the moral of the story is that for most people, CHANGE = LOSS. 

If your first impulse was to take something off in order to display change, then it's possible that you also have a deep belief that when you change, you lose something.  Even if it's a "good" change, you may mourn the loss of something during that shift. Still, you're willing to make the leap.

If your first impulse was to keep everything on, but just make subtle enough switches so that it qualified as a "change," that could also be fear of loss.

Alternatively, maybe you're just a "wait and see" person.  Don't want to do anything too dramatic just in case the tide turns the other way.  Maybe you're the politician of change.

I have the most fun during this exercise when I see people add something to themselves.  Put a book on their head.  Put a pencil or a napkin in their shirt pocket.  Pick up someone else's watch and put it on themselves.  (Hmm... I wonder if that guy ever gave the watch back?  Was he even a real attendee?? Doh!)

It doesn't happen often. But if you actually added something to your appearance at the start of this post, then it's a good sign that you are more open to change.  You may even seek change as opportunities to ADD to your life.  

Or, you actually have A.D.D.

In my case, either one of those is a possibility.  Whether it's a personal asset or character flaw, I embrace change most of the time.  In certain areas, I crave it. I must have it. (Get your mind out of the gutter.)

If you believe in astrology, I'm a Gemini and supposedly this is one of the standard characteristics of the sign.  But also, when I am trying to stay in my "zen place" and focus on the positive... it just makes sense to look at change in terms of "What am I gaining?" instead of "What am I losing?"

My Quantum Wellness Cleanse experience really helped me experience this belief in a measurable way.

Anyhoo... hopefully this was a fun little exercise and provided some insight into how you may perceive change. 

If not, you can have just as much fun telling me I'm full of baloney.   (I once said that about my 4-year old son Spiderman and he replied, "I'm NOT full of baloney!  I'm full of cheese!!")

 It's all good.

When Life Hands You Lemons...

Given my renewed focus on the positive, it's only fitting that the latest honor bestowed upon me is called the "Lemonade Stand Award."

If anyone knows how to make lemonade out of lemons, it's me.  (Careful though; it's probably spiked.)

As if to emphasize this point, I actually received this same award from two different people last week:

Sarah at The Stroller Ballet 

and

Vivianne at Vivianne’s Vista

Thanks ladies!!

If there are rules (and there usually are), I'm pleading ignorance. 

That said, I always believe in "paying it forward."  So, since I got this from two people... I'll pass it on to two people.

Kirsty over at Momedy.  Her motto certainly fits the bill, "If you don't laugh you'll cry, and nobody likes a crybaby."

and...

Sara at Sara spelled without an H.  Anyone who can coin a phrase such as "thought-sicles" deserves an award in my book. (Plus a bit of irony since I got this from a "Sarah with an H.")

Thanks again and congrats!

P90X Update: Halfway Mark

Here's some positive news:  It's Day 45 of my P90X journey.  I'm at the halfway mark!  Can I get a "woot! woot!" (Thanks!)

Okay, so here are some random impressions so far:

* Overall, I am really enjoying the P90X program; a bright buoy in the recent sea of crapola.  (There's a visual for you!)

Is it bad that I find myself looking forward to Kenpo X day so I can unleash my aggressions with all that kicking and punching?

* I may have mentioned that I suffer from major exercise ADD.  As such, I especially appreciate having something different to do every day and sequences which are segmented into manageable bits. 

The range and mix of workouts are pure magic.

It helps that Tony Horton [see pic] has a great, goofy sense of humor.  I never get tired of hearing him yell, "No Krispy Kremes in the house!  Cheeseburger bad!  Fries bad!  Coke bad!  DOH - I said it!!" 

Admittedly, it's not a chore watching him say it either.  *blush*

* In my mind, this is not a "weight loss" program.  It's a fitness program.  Speaking from the experience of having lost 60+ lbs (twice), there are definitely more effective ways lose weight if that's the only goal.

However, I can't think of any at-home program which could get a person in better physical condition. Physique. Strength. Flexibility. Cardiovascular condition. 

I've been "lighter" and "skinnier" before but the only six pack I've ever had is was the one in my fridge. 

Even at the 50% mark, I feel physically stronger. (Mentally -- that's another thing as you know but this helps that too!) 

I'm enjoying the little things, like being able to carry more bags of groceries from the car into the house. I can actually do the clapping pushups, instead of watching people on the infomercials do them whilst sitting my blumpy arse on the couch.

Just a few weeks ago I got winded to a full stop going up the stairs in the parking garage at work.  It was embarrassing. Yesterday, I went up twelve (count em - 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12) flights of stairs carrying my laptop rollerboard.  No huffing and puffing!  It actually felt good. 

Sick, right?

* It's all about "pushing play."  With very few exceptions, no matter what is happening on a given day; no matter how tired I may be (or formerly, depressed), I stick the DVD in the player and push play.  Many, many times I haven't been committed to working out. 

I just tell myself, "Hit the freakin' button. Don't think about what will happen after that.  Just push play."

Especially with everything that is going on, I almost can't handle the idea that I am signed up to do 60+ minutes of exercise every day for 90 days. Holy moly.  If I had to have that mindset, it just wouldn't happen. I'd be putting this off until my parents recover or until my next client implementation is done or until the house is fixed or whatever. 

All I think about is pushing one button.  Easy peasy!

Sure, sometimes I end up doggin' it.  But the majority of the time I find that once I start, I get into it. I enjoy the workout and am glad to have the release.    (Hook, uppercut, side kick!)

A body in motion stays in motion.   Whether you're doing P90X or any other fitness program, the same rule applies.  Starting is the hardest part.  Just push play.

Positive vibes!

PS: It's probably pretty boring reading but if you want to see more details about the day-to-day workouts, I have a P90X Updates button link on my sidebar.  I'll also post Day 60 and Day 90 pictures up there when those days come.  

You can see my post about why I started P90X HERE.

I should probably also mention that I am in no way compensated for my experience or review with this or any other product or program, yada, yada, yada.

Turn That (Negativity) Bus Around

Wow.  I think this is the longest I've gone between posts since I started blogging. 

"So where the heck have you been?" you wanna know.

I've been trying to find a creative or witty way to explain the many ways that the last few weeks of the decade sucked. 

I'm stumped.  Both parents in the hospital (two long stories), the return of "asthma boy," broken well pump, finding out that said piece of crap is under my newly landscaped walkway, family business struggles, holiday drama, money woes, step-son going to Afghanistan, bad hair, yada yada yada.   

Calgon, take me away.

Normally I'm not one to make New Year's resolutions.  Yet, it was New Year's Eve when I came to the realization that I was depressed.  And that nothing happening around me was going to change in the very near future... including the fact that the only reason my toilets flush is because we have a hose (seen in pic) running from my in-law's house next door.

(Looking at the attached pic now, I'm actually laughing at myself.  I had thrown a Santa hat on my autumn scarecrow instead of actually taking it down and/or putting up more appropriate decorations.  Apparently I was a little overwhelmed!)

So for the past couple of weeks my focus has been to (once again) shift my focus from letting everything on the outside control how I feel on the inside... to the reverse.  I've made the conscious choice to shift my internal lens from seeing all the negativity, to projecting positivity.

I am officially walking away from the slippery slope.  Okay, so it's more like turning a bus around but you get the idea.

This is my "three step process" for getting that bus of negativity to drive the other way:

1. Internal --> transform thoughts, feelings, words, feeding only positive energy

2. External --> engage in healthy, healing actions

3. Support --> ask for help, whether it's feedback, physical assistance, accountability or just the time and space for #1 & 2 to be possible

I'm thinking of changing the caption on my blog header to "Practicing what you preach can be a real biotch."  The truth is that sometimes I just have to write about this stuff so I remember to do it.

Life balance isn't about juggling and controlling everything in your world. 

It's about balancing your internal well-being so that you can handle anything which gets thrown at you.

Be well and MOVE THAT BUS!