It's been a while since I posted something new. Apologies for that. I actually have been writing... but in my private journal. I've been writing about my struggles to grasp the realities of finding out that my dad, my hero, is sick. Really, really sick. I'm trying to stay positive but it's just not a good situation right now.
All of these experiences now seem like trivial examples thanks to the instant perspective provided by metastasized adenocarcinoma.
So, what about when it is about life and death? What then?
I'm finding that I need to use the ol' "one step at a time" strategy right now in order to function. I simply can't think about the whole staircase or where it lead. I can only think about one step at a time.
What do I know as absolute certainty today?
What choices need to be made or what actions need to be taken today?
Usually it's not even about a whole day. It's really moment by moment.
Of course it's hard not to jump many steps ahead, especially for us control freaks. (Have we met?) How I wish there were a possibility for a known, effective plan which would lead to a known, positive outcome. There just isn't.
Even for the most optimistic, it's hard not to think about all the dark, painful places where those staircases can lead.
It helps me to slow down mentally and emotionally to a more myopic perspective. I'm not sure if "protective myopia" is a real term or I just made it up, but it sure is coming in handy.
In the meantime, you know how much I believe in the power of prayer and positive energy. Thanks in advance for yours. Much appreciated!
PS: Here are a couple of past posts about my Dad if you want to get a glimpse into what an amazing man and father he is...
10 Things I Learned From My Dad
Dear Ol' Dad - the Consistent Parent