Sunday, October 18, 2009

Potty Talk

Warning: This post may not be suitable for those who have never taken care of small children and/or those with a strong sensory gag reflex.

Recently, I’ve regained the privilege of cleaning the soiled underpants of my four-year old son (aka “Spiderman”).  This task includes wiping his similarly smeared derriere of course.

Lovely, right?  My life is so glamorous.

Oh, Spiderman was fully trained on the correct use of the facilities. In fact, he’d been displaying complete competency for more than a year including proper disposal of outputs #1 and #2.   I can hardly remember the days of sticker charts and Cheerios "targets."

However, we seem to have entered the Land of Regression.  Quite unwillingly, I may add... on my part anyway.

Desperate, I’ve taken to conducting complex Google searches such as “was potty trained, now not so much.”

It seems I am not alone. Whew. Who knew normal was such a big place? That, along with the "sanitary" setting on my new LG steam washer, is quite a relief.

Still, I have this ridiculous habit of asking my preschooler “Why?" even though I know the question will be answered honestly and yet yield only further frustration.  Here are some (unrelated) examples:

       Me: “Why did you take that toy from your sister?”

                     Spiderman: “Because I wanted it.”

       Me: “Why did you hide all these candy wrappers under the couch?”

                     Spiderman: “Because I didn’t want you to know I ate the candy.”

The current situation is no exception to this insanity.  I've asked the same question many times over the past couple of weeks and of course I keep getting the same answer.

           “Why did you do poop in your pants?” I plead.

           “Because I didn’t want to stop playing,” comes Spidey’s consistent reply.

I'm actually not at all sure how to handle this new stage.  For now, I am just keeping in mind my own mantra, “This too shall pass.” We'll get through it.  It's a good bet he won't be wearing a Pull-Up to the prom.

In the meantime, I’m determined to find a bigger life lesson in it all.  

So here it is: No matter how much fun you’re having, sometimes you have to take time to deal with the crap.

Makes sense, right?

Personally, I'm thinking about all the times I've had specific tasks or situations which I just didn't want to tackle.  The "big turds" as my friend MES calls them.  Yet, I've learned that (much like Spidey's contaminated underoos) procrastination just makes these things messier. 

Tomorrow being Monday, you're likely thinking about your "to do" list for the week.    My advice is to start with the stinky stuff first.  Get the big turds out of the way and the rest of the week will feel like a clean, fresh breeze.


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One Cluttered Brain said...

LOL! good advice! Get the turds out of your life cause they are the ones that always smell bad!!!

john said...

and I was thinking spiderman just wanted to get your attention. I can totally relate to him not wanting to stop playing tho :)

plainolebob said...

I could really git messy here with a comment, but I am on my Bess behavior. lol
Been dealing with crap all day/

Charlene said...

LOL - thanks!

And Bob... I think Bess said something about you being "full of it"? hehe

Jason The Bald Guy said...

Charlene, I have to say It is good to find your blog! I have just scratched the surface but you are definitely getting a stumble!

keep up the great writing

Tanya said...

What great advice, and who knew it could be found in such an unlikely place (underpants, to be exact). I know my week will definitely go better if I get the crap out of the way from the get go...

Charlene said...

Thanks Jason - I really appreciate the kind words and the stumble! ;-) You ROCK!

And Tanya... I know, right? Have a great week!

Argentum Vulgaris said...

Haha, Bob's full of it! LOL

Boys get lazy sometimes, he'll get sick of it and return.

btw, you've been tagged:



plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Haha, nice post - enjoyed it.

kajunger said...

and, bear in mind, if you don't get the crap out of the way, the pile will just be that much bigger when you do deal with it!

Hunter said...

No shortage of "big turds" this week.

Nice post, Charlene.

MamaOtwins+1 said...

The life lesson is great - and yes many of them do revert back because they are having too much fun. The idea is to lose out on more fun because they pooped in their pants.

Stopping by from SITS

TC said...

Boys do get lazy sometimes, girls not so much but they do this also. Nothing more fun than to be @ someones house and watching a pool of yellow spreading over white bathroom linoleum because some 5 year old didn't quite make it to the pot.

Sarah said...

spanking my puppy's little butt seemed to work when she has a regression, but i don't suppose that's good child psychology?

Missy said...

I love how you brought this back around. LOL

We too dealt with regression with my son. It stinks (pun intended) but yes, it does not last forever. Perhaps it is time to revisit the sticker charts?

Stopping in from SITS.

Mr.Poo said...

I love this post. It has everything I love, toilet humor, poopytime, turds and Spiderman. Fantastic.

Charlene said...

I have to admit Mr. Poo -- I specifically thought of you when I posted it! :-)

Jenno said...

Ah, yes, the regressive stage. It's scary-normal, actually. BOTH the four year olds that I had nannied, in separate households, went through this stage! It shall pass, although it takes a little hard work in patience and perseverance explaining the "why" to them about how it's uncool to dookie in their shorts anymore.

SITS Girls said...

Ah, the dreaded "land of regression". Been there. Done that.
You are totally right, he will not be wearing a pull up to prom.

And, you won the $25 Amazon gift card in the Spirit Jump auction on SITS- email me for details:

S.E. Sward said...

LOL. Yeah, Darling Daughter had a few oopsies over the summer which absolutely baffled me. Mortified me, too, when it happened while she was at a playdate and the other mother had to wash her undies and loan her a pair from her own daughter. The reason was, of course, she was too involved in playing to take the time out to pay attention to her body until it was too late. Argh! We've had a number of chats about monitoring what our body is telling us so that this doesn't happen again. We've been oopsie free since school started, thankfully.

Love the 'moral' of the story - start with the turds first!

Stopping by from SITS to say hello!

Anonymous said...

Yes I can relate that poop happens whats sad is not too long ago my son made quite an accident on your rug. maybe it is like dogs and spiderman was only protecting is domain.

Innocent Owner Of Mad Cats said...

I have to say, this is the first time I have ever wrote "what a crappy post" and meant great! :)

Heather said...

Ohhhh - How nasty is that, but atleast you can find the humor in it.

It's important to laugh everyday, but some days if you don't laugh you'll cry.

That second link worked better from MBC! I'm glad I found your blog - Looks great!


Drew said...

Hi Charlene, Maybe buy "Spidy" 10 pairs of Spiderman Underoos (I think they still make them). Maybe he will not want to tarnish them.

Melissa said...

What a fun post, love it, will be returning.
Have added myself to your followers so I don't miss a thing. Great positive place to visit.


Fruitful Vine2 said...

Excellent advice. I'm going to have to keep that in mind for future procrastinating temptations.

Gretchen Seefried said...

I like the analogy...also wanted to reassure you. My 18 year old, when he was three used to say "anybody dat don't pee in der pants can't come to my birfday party".

also, did note that way back when he finally was trained...the day I put him in a very structured Montessori pre-school he regressed. Not sayin' anything against Montessori, just that it could've been a recent change in his life. Realize this is more than a year later and I''' bet your way past wipin' the smeary hiney again, though I'm sure you still see he needs a little extra help at times.

This week I will see my 21 year old son's hiney for the first time in around 10 years as he is performing in the mainstage musical at NYU, and some of the scenes are in the buff. This will be a new (and somewhat alarming experience!) but hey, it's art!

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