Particularly for those who have recently started following my book page on Facebook, I thought it would be good to re-post my original epiphany:
So... I discovered an interesting dynamic when I was doing the Quantum Wellness Cleanse* in 2009.
It's like the cellulite on the back of my thighs; it's always been there but I have to be in just the right position to get a good look at it. And wow... so not pretty.
What I'm talking about is the reaction we often get from others when we're trying to change ourselves for the better.
Maybe you've recently started working out or eating differently or trying different parenting techniques or becoming more organized.
Hopefully, you do have some people in your life which are genuinely happy for you. However, sometimes even the most supportive feedback is laced with an undertone of, "Yeah...so... um... good luck with that."
Some people may even be downright rude. Oh, I've heard it all.
It's mind-boggling how our personal habits can strike such a nerve with people. I'm still amazed at the crazy negative reactions I get when I talk about my eating habits, my P90X experience,
When I first started noticing these reactions, I have to admit that I felt very defensive. Offended even.
But then I figured it out.
I realised that they're not judging me. Well, they are -- but mainly because they think I am judging them. Meanwhile, they are actually judging themselves.
Stick with me here.
When I say, "I am doing this thing because I want to feel healthier.... etc... etc..." what they hear is, "YOU should be healthier. YOU should exercise more. YOU should be vegetarian. YOU are a big mess!"
In my mind, my choices have nothing to do with them. In their mind, it does. By talking about what I am doing to invest in my own wellness, I am somehow forcing their own exploration into how they view and treat themselves.
It's sad but true -- most people would rather be in denial.
One of the reasons I find this all so fascinating is because it highlights yet another reason why change is so flippin' hard. Sometimes the only person who wants you to change is YOU.
Life lesson of the day: Do what you know is good for you and don't let the reactions of others sway your resolve.
How other people react is more a reflection of their insecurities vs. your efforts to improve yourself.
What I've also learned is that most of the time we have to ASK for what we need in terms of support. I know some of you are saying, "I shouldn't need to ask." Get over it. You do.
Anytime you need extra encouragement and support, come see me here at The Balance Beam. This is officially a "no judgment zone." *big welcoming smile*
Take care of yourself!
*The Quantum Wellness Cleanse is program by Kathy Freston that involves increased awareness of eating and health. It also eliminates alcohol, caffeine, sugar, gluten and animal products for 21-days. I recommend it! Check out my archives for my day-by-day experience. (No compensation received - it's just great!)