"I'm Not Here to Make Friends"

It seems that every time I mention “Reality TV", I get an overwhelmingly negative response. Humans from a wide range of religious, political and socioeconomic backgrounds seem universally united in their hatred of this genre of television.

However, it’s simply not possible that my viewership is singularly responsible for the sustainability of shows like Top Chef, Project Runway, Survivor and American Idol.

I'm convinced that some of you out there are closet reality fans.   You know too much to deny it.  Oh, I can hear it now:
     “I just saw that one episode.”
     “I've only seen it because my partner watches.”
     “I just watch it for the girls in bikinis.”

Even folks who (quote, unquote) “hate” reality TV must be familiar with the recurrent phrase, “I’m not here to make friends.”

Sadly, there is now a long tradition of this ridiculous sentiment.  When I hear it, my reaction can only be a heartfelt, "Oh no they di'n't!"

Saying the "friends" line is the kiss of death.  A one way ticket for the aufiderzein bus.  Pack your tools and your knives.  Sing your last song and dance your last dance.  Burn your buff (and your ego), and go.  Buh. Bye.

If you're "not here to make friends," you're not likely to win.

This is true in life as well, both personally and professionally.

I've often written about my three steps towards reaching your life balance goals:

1. Internal:

thoughts, feelings, words

2. External:

actions in line with goals

3. Support:

help, accountability, encouragement

The essence of step three is that you'll be much more successful by having other people in your corner. 

There are a lot of reasons why any reality show contestant normal person might not want to be part of a team or rely on others for help.   

Personally, I had a childhood that required a great amount of independence.   Growing up, I became unwilling and/or unable to let others close enough to help, even when it was there for the taking.

(Fellow control freaks everywhere are nodding in empathy.)

That said, it's something I have worked hard to overcome.  At this point in my life, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am always better for having the help and support of others.  I try to say "thank you" early and often each day for the many wonderful people in my life.  Friends.

In return for being so blessed, I make it a point to extend as much positive energy as possible.  Yeah, I know sometimes it makes me look like the crazy lady who smiles and says "hi" to everyone as she walks down the street or the airplane aisle.  Sometimes the toll booth guy thinks I'm flirting with him.  The folks at my kids' school are just waiting for me to stop the "life is great" act and pull a nutty.  Well, that could happen; especially if Dunkin' Donuts continues to get my coffee wrong at least once a week.

I do have my moments.

The life balance lesson being beamed to you today is quite simply, be nice. 

Be here to make friends.