I'm Not Here to Make Friends

It seems that every time I mention “Reality TV", I get an overwhelmingly negative response. Humans from a wide range of religious, political and socioeconomic backgrounds seem universally united in their hatred of this genre of television.

However, it’s simply not possible that my viewership is singularly responsible for the sustainability of shows like Top Chef, Project Runway, Survivor and American Idol.

I'm totally convinced that some of you out there are closet reality fans.   You know too much to deny it.  Oh - I can hear it now:

     “I just saw that one episode.”

     “I've only seen it because my girlfriend watches.”

     “I just watch it for the girls in bikinis.”

Suuuurre. And my husband reads Playboy for the articles. Whatever dude.

At any rate, even folks who (quote, unquote) “hate” reality TV are probably familiar with the recurrent phrase, “I’m not here to make friends.”

This week, in a "oh no he din't" moment, Nicolas from Project Runway inserted himself into the long tradition of this ridiculous sentiment.

My dear Nicolas, have you ever seen any reality television before?   Saying that line is the kiss of death.  One day you're in and the next day you're out.  You just bought your ticket for the aufiderzein bus.

Smarter and more talented people than I, have conducted in-depth analyses of the infamous phrase and the relative success (or failure) of reality contestants. Suffice it to say that there's a lot to support the theory that if you're "not here to make friends," you're not likely to win.

It's true in life as well, both personally and professionally.

In the past I've talked about three steps towards reaching your life balance goals:

       1. Internal --> thoughts, feelings, words

       2. External --> actions in line with goals

       3. Support --> help, accountability, encouragement

The essence of step three is that you'll be much more successful by having other people in your corner. 

Personally speaking, my childhood was such that asking for help made me feel far too vulnerable. Scary stuff.  So, I tried to control everything. Going it alone was just safer.  Perhaps also there was a feeling, or a fear, that I really was alone; that no one would want to be in my corner.

As I think about my life now, I can't lie -- there's still a shadow of that insecurity inside sometimes. It's something I work consciously to overcome.  At the end of the day though, I know I'm always better for having the help of others, whether it's for practical needs, emotional support or whatever.

Furthermore, I feel extremely grateful for the wonderful people in my life.  I literally say "thank you" about hundred times every single day.

In return for being so blessed, I make it a point to extend as much positive energy as possible.  Yeah, I know sometimes it makes me look like the crazy lady who smiles and says "hi" to everyone as she walks down the street. Sometimes the toll booth guy thinks I'm flirting with him.  And the folks down at the coffee shop are just waiting for me to "stop the nice act" and pull a nutty.  Well, that could happen.  I do have my moments. 

The life balance lesson being beamed to you today is quite simply, be nice. 
Be here to make friends.