Don't Look Back Now, It's a New Year

January 1st found me and my dear hubby (aka "Big D") thoroughly disgusted with ourselves.   The reverie of the holidays, as enjoyable as they were, left our bodies bloated and sluggish.   It was time to take off our feedbags and amp up the exercise.  Happy flippin' New Year.

January 2nd, Big D and I took on P90 Circuit with a vengeance.

January 3rd, Big D worked late and I did P90 Sculpt alone.

January 4th, I asked Big D if he wanted to work out but he was too exhausted.  I caved and decided "comfy, cozy" was a good option for me too.

By the end of the first week, I had only worked out a couple of times and Big D. not at all since that first day.  Yet, we weren't eating cannoli for breakfast or making declarations like, "Well, it's 5 o'clock somewhere!"

Lulled into a false sense of security, we were on the fast track to complacency. 

Fifty percent of people who join gyms in January quit within six months.  I would love to know how many of those people really only go for the first month, then take two more months to admit to themselves they aren't going back, and then another three to actually go into the club, face their shame, and cancel their membership. It's no mystery why almost no club will allow you to cancel over the phone.
 
Here's the realization that kicked me back into gear: motivation based on shame isn't sustainable.

If you were ever in a position where it was always about catching up on what you didn't get done (or did wrong) yesterday, or last quarter or last year, then you know what I am talking about. 

Similarly, trying to just "undo" the gluttony of the holidays isn't enough to keep the fire lit under our jiggly butts. 

Sustainable motivation is based on outcomes. 

Note I didn't say "goals."  Goals are about setting targets.  Outcomes are about reaching them.

Focusing on the abundant feelings of energy, accomplishment and fabulosity I know I will have after I get back into my healthy, fit groove -- THAT is what gets my arse out of my comfy cozy.

If you find yourself wavering on your own New Year's resolutions, think about what's motivating you.  If it's "so last year," adjust accordingly.   Focus on what you want to be, do, or have in the future, not what haunts you from the past.  Focus on outcomes.

Here's wishing you a happy, healthy, prosperous 2012!





Now on Twitter @BeamingBalance

Do You Wanna Get Away?

It turns out that the oxygen mask connection I made in an earlier post is pretty widely known. It also turns out that I am not the only one to think I came up with the idea all on my own. Sorry to burst that bubble for you guys.

Since I’m always trying to add value, I feel an almost competitive obligation to find a new life balance takeaway from the flight attendant opening speech. I realize this is limited territory -- unless of course you haven’t been in a car since 1958 and don’t know how to use a seatbelt.

So here it is:
Know your exits and have multiple options.

With so many external pressures and responsibilities, it’s only natural that we’ll have moments when we seriously question if we CAN do it all. The cup is not just full, but pouring over the edges and we’re not sure how to stop the overflow.

As comedian Steven Wright says... that feeling you get when you lean back on your chair and you catch yourself just before you fall.

We've all had those moments when the advice of “just meditate” may not cut it. You also know that going to the spa or even taking a walk is SO not happening anytime soon.

Other options for "escape" which may not be reasonable include getting in the car and just driving until you run out of gas and/or locking yourself in the bathroom with a full bottle of Kendall Jackson and not coming out until it’s gone.

“Exiting” by definition requires starting from the inside and going out. We’re talking about times when physically leaving the situation is just not possible. Rather, we need to depart the internal frustration, negativity, stress, depression or “I’m gonna lose it” feeling.

Everyone has different strategies which work for them. And different things are effective in different situations. The important thing is that you know where your exits are before you actually need to use them. Notice you get the exit speech and double pointing fingers when the plane is still on solid ground.

My assignment to you is to consciously think of five ways you can almost instantly change your view of the world, even when you can’t change your world.

Here are my “exits”:

1. Thinking of my happiest, funniest, goofiest memories. Sometimes the closest exit is behind us.

2. Asking, is this life or death? It may sound morbid, but sometimes this requires thinking of an actual “life or death” moment to create instant perspective.  (Like my experience in Cannes.)

3. Asking for help. If you can't get out by yourself, call for assistance.  Because I was sort of forced to be so self-sufficient as a kid, it took me many years to realise that asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Even when I can't get someone to physically help me, just being able to vent and get support over the phone (usually while multi-tasking) saves me.

4. Counting to 10. Call me old fashioned but it works. I think of it as a 10-second meditation.

5. Naming that tune. Yes, I actually sing. For some reason, “You & Me Against the World” by Helen Reddy always does the trick. Weird choice, I know. But I’ve been singing that song to feel better since it came out in 1974. For fire emergencies, I prefer "Disco Inferno."

As a side note, singing also comes in handy when trying to grocery shop with two or more kids. Before entering the store, I threaten to launch into my loud personal rendition of “Yankee Doodle Dandy” at the first sign of any whining, fighting or begging. I’ve received many compliments over the excellent behavior of my children in public.

Know your exits.  When needed, get to the best exit as quickly as possible leaving all emotional baggage behind.

Best,

Stalking the Change

Lately, it seems like everyone I know is contemplating some big change:  Another job.  A "get healthy" plan.  Remodeled kitchen.  New car.  New baby.

Maybe it's the time of year.  We instinctively feel the toll of those midnight chimes approaching.  The winds of change beckon us with the thought of hanging that shiny new 2012 calendar.

And yet, everyone has something holding them back just beyond the walls of actual action.  They are doing a lot of thinking and worrying, but not much more.  They feel distracted and overwhelmed.

The advice I give to my sisters, my friends, my co-workers (and to you) is what my dad used to always say to me in similar situations:   

Hey dad, I want a new car.  I'm thinking of switching schools. Maybe I'll grow a tail and dye my hair blue.

He'd always say, "Well, gathering information is free.   Get educated and then come talk me."

Gathering information is free.  And, freeing.

It is always empowering to explore what it would take to make the change, map the steps, talk to other people who have done it (or who decided not to) and get educated. 

Stalking the change sheds light on those shadows of doubt, fear and insecurity.    

Got all the information and still not sure what to do?

Another question to ask yourself is about permanence.  "If you do this thing, can you undo it later if you find out it was the wrong decision?"

Children and tattoos are permanent.   Jobs, hairstyles and gym memberships can always be changed again.

Make your decision with information and perspective.  And just do it.  Or don't.  It's your choice - but do choose one way or another. 

Carpe diem!






PS:  I'm on Twitter now!  @BeamingBalance

Perspective

I just heard a great story in a meeting that would otherwise have been an hour of my life I'd never get back.  Let me know if it resonates with you as it did with me:

Two sales reps get sent to a remote village to see if there is an opportunity to sell shoes.

Shortly after arrival, the first salesperson calls headquarters and says, “Stop shipment! Not a single villager wears shoes so there’s zero opportunity. We will never sell shoes here.”

Two minutes later, the second sales rep calls headquarters and says, “Send me everything you’ve got! None of these villagers have shoes so there is an incredible opportunity to sell shoes here!”

Two different people with two different views on the same situation.  One sees scarcity and hopelessness where the other sees opportunity and abundance.

Perspective makes all the difference.

Happy Thanksgiving!

My father used to always say, "People in love think they are invisible."

I've seen enough couples making out in the airport to know this is true.  When I see these people all super- powered with mutual infatuation, I feel torn.  Part of me wants to tell them, "GET A ROOM ALREADY!"
Okay, well sometimes I do say that.  I have no filter.  It's a gift.

The point is, I waver between feeling sincere happiness that there is still such love in the world and jealousy that sits just below the surface of judgment.

Schmoopie and Luv Muffin couldn't care less what I think.   They are happy.

My wish for you this Thanksgiving Day is that you love and appreciate life with pure joy.  Surround yourself with a protective, happy glow.   Be your complete, authentic self without censorship for the sake of others' (or your own) judgment.  

Be happy. 






PS:  This goes double to the pooping rainbow guy.