Everything I Ever Needed to Know About Life, I Learned in Sales

Okay, maybe not everything.  How about six things?

Here are six life lessons I learned via 25+ years of bag carrying, teleconferencing, cubicling and negotiating:

1. It helps to have a great product.  I've sold everything from newspapers and theater subscriptions to jewelry, trade shows and health club memberships plus business solutions of all shapes and sizes. I've learned that it’s a lot easier to sell what I believe in than it is to sell the crappy stuff.

Increased confidence brings increased capacity.

In life, it’s hard to be confident and capable when you feel crappy. In order to believe in ourselves, we have to invest in ourselves: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

2. Be organized. There's always one salesperson on the team who makes the numbers but is also a disorganized mess. Truth is, they could really blow it out of the water if they got some good habits and process to go with their talent.

Yes, true life balance is internal, but consistency and discipline are absolutely critical to achieving our highest potential.   Life is too short to just make the numbers.

3. S/he who controls the agenda controls the outcome. My goal is always to lead the customer down a specific path towards what I want as next steps -- whether it’s the close, the next meeting, more information or whatever. Having prospects drag your arse down rat holes is not fun, and usually unsuccessful.

In life as well, we must set our intention and have a plan. Follow a course that leads to the ideal outcome. Absolutely listen and learn along the way, but know when someone or something is bringing you off course.  Then, make a deliberate and mindful decision about whether you want to go down that new road. Beware "shiny object" syndrome.  Also remember the words of Winston Churchill, "You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks."

4. Show me you know me. There is nothing more annoying and nonproductive than talking to a salesperson who knows nothing about your business (or you). Take the time. Do homework. Be thoughtful. Listen. Listen. Listen. My goal is to be someone who people want to talk to more; not someone they want to avoid.

In business and in life, success can be measured by the relationships we build.

5. Fill the pipeline. We need to be thinking both short-term and long-term. All the time. For better or for worse, this too shall pass. We should appreciate the good times but not use it as an excuse to be fat, dumb and lazy.

Along the same lines, everyone goes through “slumps.” These pass too as long as depression doesn't take the place of diligence. Keep moving. Keep pushing.  The future is now!

6. Ask for the business. My very first job was at a mall clothing store in Suburbia, USA.  I was sixteen.  Although they called me a “sales" clerk, all I really did was stand around, watch people look at the clothes, and hope they’d buy.   My next few gigs came with much higher expectations.  Luckily they also gave me scripts. (Note that these were not the same scripts from my Heathers days.)  I’m sure I sounded awful saying things like (insert cheesy sales voice), “So... will you be buying a one-year or a two-year subscription today?”   But I learned.  A lot.

Since then, I don’t think I've ever gotten a bad critique from a sales manager because I failed to ask for the sale. (Though one former boss wrote in huge letters on my presentation, “TOO JOLLY! BE MORE SERIOUS!!!"  Yes, really.)

Bottom line, even in life:  We have to ASK for what we want. Whether it’s our partner, our children, our boss or the universe, we have to put it out there.  Explicitly.  Even when you don't think you should have to.  You do.

ASK. BELIEVE. RECEIVE.







Special thanks to Stephen Pia of COACH MEdia, one of my first and favorite corporate sales trainers!

My Juicing Confession

After a few months of consistent "practice what I preach" mode, I finally lost the last 10 lbs to my goal weight while also increasing muscle.  *YAY!*

Recently, a (not creepy) co-worker noticed my improved physique and asked for my secret.   I shared that in addition to a new killer boxing routine, I've been "juicing."

Seeing his slightly horrified expression I quickly clarified, "Fruits and vegetables; NOT steroids!"

We both laughed. I made a secret note to myself to cut back on my bicep workout.

My Facebook fans thought it was funny too. As a side note of utter shamelessness, if you're not already in on my daily antics and funny / inspiring updates, please "like" my Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/charleneignites  (You rock! Thanks!)

Anyhoo, I am very much enjoying my juice adventure. Sometimes I look up recipes online but mainly I just experiment based on what I have in the house and/or what I find at the store that looks interesting.

Wanna try it?   It's not as intimidating as you think!
     1) Buy or borrow a juicer based on budget and availability.
     2) Pick fruits & veggies you think (or someone tells you) go together.
     3) Wash 'em and cut 'em into chunks that fit into your juicer.
     4) Juice according to the directions on your juicer.
     5) Drink up. If you want sweet but it's not sweet enough, add a Splenda. If you want savory but it's not tasty enough, add some salt or hot sauce.

I realize I'm not being truly instructional here but the whole point is to have some fun.  Experiment.  Tweak. Enjoy!

My favorite savory juice is a homemade V8: tomato, celery, cucumber, kale, lemon (no rind), red bell pepper, romaine & carrot.  (Sometimes it's only a V4 or V5 depending on what I have around.)

My favorite sweet juice lately is carrot, orange, melon, & ginger.

One of the "complaints" about juicing is that you don't get the fiber. So, what I often do is save the dry fibrous stuff that doesn't get juiced (like what's in this bowl) and make muffins or bread out of it.

The kids LOVE it, especially when I add butter and cinnamon/sugar shake on top. What's not to love? YUM!

Just in case you need to go buy some ingredients, The Balance Beam has teamed up with Moms R Bomb to offer our readers a chance to win a $50 Safeway Gift Card.  

Details:  Safeway is offering one lucky reader a $50 gift card get some groceries and rack up gas rewards along the way!  Don’t have a Safeway in your area? You can use the gift card at Dominick’s, Genuardis, Tom Thumbs, Randalls, Pavilions, CARRS and VONS. All entries will be verified and this contest is open to residents of the USA. Winner will have 48-hours to respond to the email letting them know they won. If you do not respond within 48-hours, they will pick another winner. 

How to enter: Just click on this link, enter with Facebook or email and follow along from there:

Safeway Rafflecopter Giveaway

Good luck!!

Aspiring to Mutual Inspiration

"A good leader inspires people to have confidence in the leader; a great leader inspires people to have confidence in themselves."   
- Eleanor Roosevelt 

This is one of those memorable quotes that resonates with me in both personal and professional ways. 

The business application is more obvious so I'll start there.

I've had the great pleasure of working for a few people whom I admired and respected for their own success, wisdom and experience. 

The one who stands out most is someone who consistently showed me that the feeling was mutual.    I left every conversation with this highly respected leader having more confidence in myself and a more invigorated sense of my own capabilities. He charged me up. I'd be ready to take on any challenge; ready to make our business and him more successful.   Smart guy.    Also, a good friend to this day.

Compare that to other leaders who also commanded respect in their own right. And yet, there was always that question mark in my mind about how much they valued me and my contribution to the business.   In large part, I met my goals only because I found ways to light my own spark.  It wasn't always easy.  

When you think of which business will be more successful, will it be the one where people are mustering up their own sense of worth and creating individualized motivation? Or will it be the one that is charged with reciprocal inspiration and an energized rally cry of mutual confidence?

What do you think?

I've been pondering this idea that we can be inspirational leaders in our personal lives as well.  

For example, parents have a unique opportunity to ignite energy and confidence in their children. I used to think my job was to protect my kids at all times. Demand respect and be worthy of it. Make their lives easy enough with a bond strong enough that we could conquer anything, even puberty!     

When my own father passed away, I realized that one of the greatest gifts he left me was my belief in myself. My childhood being what it was, I'm sure there are things he would have spared me. But I also remember times when he stepped back and let me figure things out on my own. Through his intentions, words, and deeds he made me admire and respect him while also inspiring that same confidence within me.    He was a great father.  

In speaking to a group of friends last night, we agreed that not all personal relationships feel quite so wonderful.

Even with siblings and friends, sometimes it's hard for us to be as supportive and encouraging as we can (or should) be because we are trying to measure up to something ourselves.  Protective walls are made higher by implicit expectations or fear of not being "as good."  

True love and admiration might be there but we just assume they know. Our friend seems to be doing pretty great on their own, so what do they need from us? It doesn't occur to us to try to inspire them.  

Perhaps your boss assumes you know you're valuable. Maybe there's also room for improvement but s/he doesn't have the skills to communicate that in a way that doesn't murder confidence. S/he doesn't realize that a little proactive feedback (all the time; not just once a year or during crisis) would help you and the business in dramatic ways.

The lesson, I think, is not only to be someone worthy of admiration but to openly admire others.  Let them know.  Put forth words and actions that breed confidence.

I had this in mind when I added these three words to my personal brand: 
 Inspire. Ignite. Illuminate.  

You rock!!

Google Helps Those Who Help Themselves (Apparently)

As many of you know, I have been working on a new book for a while now and am committed to getting it into print this year.  More to come on that.  I will also have some news soon on a big transition for this blog that I hope you will love and support.  Stay tuned!!

Given that I am a fan of indoor plumbing and other luxuries, my daytime hours are dedicated to the job that actually sends me a paycheck on a regular basis.  This means working on the book during odd hours, sometimes when my brain looks a lot like the Zumba class at my local nursing home.

Early this morning, I was having a "senior moment" whilst trying to craft an inspiring pitch and new title (another long story) for my book.    Desperate for anything that would get the ol' wheels turning again, I did a random keyword search on Google for the overall idea of what I was trying to convey.

What came up was a full page of links to stuff I had written: blog posts, comments I've made on other blogs, my Facebook page updates, LinkedIn notes etc..

Apparently the universe (or at least Google) knew that I had the answers I needed all along!

The top link was an article that I wrote for Ferrazzi Greenlight a couple of years ago.  I wrote this under a very tight deadline while also attending my brother's destination wedding.  The final post ended up being more intimate than I had planned and as such, different from the type of stuff the site typically usually uses.  Still, I think it's a good representation of my voice as both writer and person.  I like it.

Since I want to stay on Google's good side and not get spanked for posting duplicate content, the link will have to do.

Check it out!

"Igniting Generosity with Gratitude"
a myGreenlight Guest Blog by Charlene DeCesare


THANK YOU!!!

Do Negative People Really Suck?

My strong personal belief is that the universe gives us what we need, when we need it. The universe also knows we are not very good listeners.  So, sometimes we get the same message over and over again until we actually hear it.

When we are ready, we get it.  That’s the “Ah-Ha!” moment; the “overnight success” of great awareness. 

If you’re interested in how the brain works, why we get ideas when we do, how to maximize your own “smartness” etc, you really need to get David Rock’s book, Your Brain at Work.    I think it’s because David knows how the brain works that he can explain it in a way that is uber-relatable and easy to take in.  Ah. Maze. Ing.

I especially love how David uses a central visual of a play with a stage, actors, and an audience.  As I borrow and extrapolate, I picture our “ah ha” moments starting somewhere in the cheap seats.  Maybe it’s a group of like concepts that just couldn’t get tickets all together for some reason.   

Even though critical thoughts are sitting there all along, we don’t fully notice them until they jump onto the stage and start singing show tunes -- or play a Fender Stratocaster depending on what you are into.

Usually my brain’s best performances happen in the wee hours of the morn.  (David also explains the reason for this in his book.)  

Today for example, I had an ensemble performance by all the moments when I’ve heard something along the lines of "great people focus on solutions, not problems”:   

* A friend who posted something about it online yesterday.  

* A discussion with my CFO at a conference last week.  

* Something I read in a Forbes article before I went to bed. 

 

Ironically, it was thinking about David Rock’s book that collected and pushed those thoughts onto the stage in the forefront of my mind.  At 4:00am.  Thanks an effing lot, David.

It suddenly occurred to me how judgmental we are when it comes to “positive people” vs. “negative people.”   I have been too.  Yikes.  People who focus on problems are bad.  People who find solutions are good. 

Yet, here is the Rock-inspired “Ah ha!” (or “Tah dah!”) moment:  Problems are known.  Solutions are unknown. 

It takes a LOT of energy and effort at the cellular level, to picture something you have never seen before (Rock, p. 13).   It's hard for many people to see the unknown clearly enough to change their reality or even perception of reality.   It isn’t as simple as flipping a switch from negative to positive, or problem to solution. 

It takes work.

What this epiphany gives me is a shift away from thinking, “I only want positive people in my life” or “I only want employees who find solutions, rather than focusing on problems.” 

Instead, what I want to attract into my personal and professional sphere are individuals that are willing to do the work.  People who, even if they need some help, would be open enough to roll up their sleeves and try.

As a specific personal example, I have some really negative Facebook friends.  You should see the sh*t they post, much of which I try to imagine is not directly aimed at me and my pet unicorn.  I'll admit that I sometimes wonder why I stay in touch with these people.

Today I will find myself looking through a different lens.   Do they want to see the world differently, even if they don’t know how to today?  Would they be willing to do the work to find solutions if someone gave them a little spark? 

It’s not about looking for “positive” or “negative.”  It’s about the energy.

Let's look for that energy and even better, inspire it.   


And.... scene.






PS: As a reminder, I don’t promote any person or product for compensation.  I’m just a geeked-out fan.

Book credit: Rock, David. Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long. New York: HarperCollins, 2009.